Hi readers!

So, I've decided to open up about something personal. I am not looking for a pity party nor am I here to trash talk on my experiences that I have with people of past and present.

I hope that some things could be shared with you as a lesson, that perhaps..the things that I have experienced in life did not go in vain. I want to turn my negativeness into positiveness by helping all of my single females!

First of all, I don't regret anything that I have done in my life so far and I see those who are, or were, in my life as important. Like I have said many times, I won't be this person I am today if it's not because of them, be it if it makes me a better person or a monster, it is truly mind over matter, really. I am basically in my own control.

I am not a professional relationship counsellor who could give you all the right facts and stats of things about love and relationships, but I'm speaking based on my own experiences and what I know through being in this life.

Continue to read if you don't mind it!

Anyways, here goes!

Girls, we all know we want to be treated right by our partners, but let me tell you this -

Men can never read your mind or take subtle hints!

Let me list down a few things:

1. If you feel it, say it. Be straightforward. No beating around the bush!
   
   If you have been communicating with a man for some time and you are gradually developing feelings for him, don't be shy to express! Let him know that you are interested to know him more than a friend. I am traditional in the sense that I would prefer a man to make the first move but in this modern age, a lot of things are done unorthodoxly. Yes! In the initial stages, don't pour your every heart and soul into the confession.. just let him be aware that you're interested to know if he feels the same way. Don't be in something that's a one way street!
   
   Nobody wants to be in that situation, so find out sooner, or be way too heartbroken later!
2. Don't waste your present life away because your mind is too focused on the future
   
   All women want a happy ending and be with a man who will eventually end up as a husband, but we should all know, these things take time for most guys.
   
   If it's a two way street and your relationship looks and feels promising, continue to create meaningful memories together in the present. Make plans in the nearest future that show progression in the relationship. Don't get too involved in the future, leave it to time but plan and keep each other in check gradually, never get into the routine of things and get comfortable with each other, please don't bore each other out! Go bungee jumping, sky diving or take a roller coaster ride somewhere unexpected. Do the unthinkable! Be spontaneous! Take an anonymous trip on the first flight out to wherever. Don't make plans with just the two of you alone together all the time, get friends to head out to a music festival or a group getaway to somewhere exciting together!
   
   Make use of the present time as much as you can to be together! You only have your youth once, sweetcheeks! There's no more wasting time on it.
3. Expect less, but keep some hope to keep going on in life
   
   We love our romantic movies and chick flicks, but these dramas are causing a stir in our very emotional hearts that will ONLY lead us to believe the highest expectations in love! Don't get too engrossed in fairy tales and happy endings with fireworks exploding in the background!
   
   Leave that to fantasy world. Let go of that thought.
   
   This is REALITY. If what you have is going great, be GRATEFUL and don't mess up what could be a pure and peaceful love life! If you feel like you deserve more, then, you are not fit in this relationship that you're in. Talk it out with your partner first, but if you still feel like there's no progression - well..you know where I am going with this.
   
   Save the deeper heartache and snip, snip, snip!
4. If there's uncertainty, try your best to show you're certain
   
   You both have met for a reason, yes, I totally agree.
   
   So, try to find out what is the main purpose and sole reason as to why you both feel the same way for each other. Recall the times you both first got together and find out more reasons to love about one another.
   
   If he doesn't see the same way about it anymore, try your best to show you're a true down ass female in this relationship. Give him space to think, yet, stay loving, supportive, loyal, free-spirited and fun - BUT, WOMAN, LISTEN! There's a time limit for every thing cos if he is taking his own sweet time about it, you should know YOU ARE A PERSON TOO, you need to stay happy and healthy. If the relationship has turned too toxic to be in, then, he is not right for you.
   
   Nobody deserves to be in a gray area for far too long! We, women, have an expiry date on our eggs and men don't. They can still be 60 and knock a girl up!
5. Keep communications clear and consistent, but let him have his 'alone time/boy's time'
   
   Most of us love Koala bears and find them adorable, but see, we are humans.
   
   We can't cling to our men all the time. It suffocates them.
   
   We have what we call, 'school', 'work', 'errands' and a 'life' to progress after. It is nice to get some quick messages throughout the day, but it can be troublesome for him if all you want is an hour to hour live feed of what's going on with his day!
   
   Let him be, woman! You are both secured in a relationship, let him manage his own daily works of life. Let him have some moments of full out testosterone energy filled activities with his boys! (i.e: Gym sessions, Xbox Live/PS3 gaming sessions, Boy's night out and etc). Obviously, you would want your Girl's night out and alone pampering time with your other female friends too!
   
   Be fair and reasonable!
   
   He will miss you and know that you have that much trust in him. This will make him appreciate you even more!
   
   And guys, it can be nice to get our 'Good morning' messages & 'Good night' phone calls daily. We really don't need conversations that goes for hours on end, it can be nice from time to time, but we honestly just want to know that you're thinking about us somewhere in the middle of the day or night or something like that.
   
   Show it to us that we're your women, goddammit! Handle us, yo!
6. Don't go 100% on him if he shows no effort. Let him be a man!
   
   Ladies, ladies, ladieeesss! I'mma stress you big time on this bishhhh!
   
   Don't pull through for a man who doesn't see you as a priority in his life. If he's not putting effort into making you feel secured as his woman wholeheartedly, emotionally and spiritually, don't bother giving your all to him. If you are his woman, he will let you in on things that are going on in his life. He won't leave you wondering and worrying for days or weeks. You should be like a best friend who makes him comfortable enough to open up to you and tell you things, yet, stay in love with you enough to want you more than a best friend.
7. No cliffhangers! Don't be led on, dragged along or hung by the ledge!
   
   We are all victims of infatuation and sweet, flirty beginnings! The toughest times are what seemed to be after 3 - 4 months into the relationship, communications can either be stronger or suddenly became still and inconsistent. This is when you find out if something is for real or just plain out whack.
   
   If the man for you IS for you, you shouldn't feel led on or be left wondering what's next and have no proper communication that goes on for days and weeks, then, to a whole month! Yes, you do have your own life, family, work/home errands and plans to do daily too, but if he still doesn't try to communicate with you properly. That's a BIG RED FLAG right there! If he is your man, he WILL be in control to let you feel secured without you having to be worried. If you see that he has been making you wait with no updates or communication whatsoever- even with your own VERY busy schedule - WO-MAN! It's about that time to leave.
   
   If he doesn't know how to make it work during times that are tough, then, it could be worse if you're officially married and he wouldn't know how to tackle both problems of his own and his family/love life.
   
   He will make time for you if he sees you as important - no if's and but's, no matter what!
   
   It's either "One for all, or all for one".
   
   Sidenote: Guys, remember, we females have what we call 'monthly periods'. REMEMBER THIS. We are constantly under 'emotional distress'. Usually, OVER NOTHING SERIOUS, we just get emotional out of nothing and the over-thinking thoughts come processing. We don't just deal with that, we deal with a lot going on in us - tummy cramps, aches of all kinds and areas, migraines and all that bleeding for some serious, moody days.
   
   So, handle us with care and just keep us in check that we are fine by doing something sweet. I have been single for many years before and used to be so unhealthy with the way I handled my emotional distresses, but what works is when I work out, make beats on FL or dance and let happy endorphins flow inside of me! Getting flowers, candy and chocolates (I love!) can be nice to get from time to time, but sometimes, a cuddle would do! Lol.
8. If all else is going nowhere, cut the ties loose!
   
   So, you have tried your best! You have put in time and energy. You have put up with all dramas, both your eyes have all cried out and heart can no longer handle the aches and pains that happened in your past relationships. You are NOT happy and he is not making you feel relevant anymore. Things are still complicated. I would advise you not to let it go on any further, woman!
   
   It is time to break free and leave the relationship. You tried to salvage it but it came to a point where it cannot be saved. So, go save yourself. Be your own superhero.
9. Love and respect yourself first! If it's meant to be, it'll work out, if not, time to move on
   
   If someone does not make you feel important or relevant anymore, why stay in that relationship though? If he can't respect you as his woman, who actually tried her best to make it work, stayed concern about him and treated him right, then.. you have no one but yourself to care for!
   
   If you have already set your present life with a lot of things to occupy your time with, YET, your love life is STILL non existent or going down the drain, just continue doing what you do - keep putting focus at work, be with family and friends, workout, seek greatness, enjoy your present time and also put aside some focus to do as many things as you can to make yourself smile and happy.
   
   Just keep being the better version of you each day!
   
   If you think you want to break-free and dance, go ahead. You have that control of your own actions. Just make sure you know your limits and self-worth!
10. If he IS for you, he will do WHATEVER it takes to HAVE you in his life
    
    Listen, ladies, someone out there is MEANT for you. I believe that one person in this world is meant to be your soulmate.
    
    Yes, I know you have put up with a lot of shit with some of the men that have crossed paths with you. Believe me, I can definitely relate on this to the HIGHEST DEGREE. You have dealt with all kinds of BS, troubles, aches and pains. You are all EXHAUSTED and so done with dramas.
    
    But I am a hopeless romantic too, this bunny is sappy for love. (I have to still keep hope somewhere in me, okay?)
    
    The one for you will MAKE it all SIMPLE and EASY to love you, he will SHOW it to you. It won't be ALL TALK. He will put in effort through actions and make you his everything. He will do whatever it takes with his every energy, heart and soul to make you be in his life!
    
    He won't even stop when he gets your attention, he won't quit till the day you both grow old and have to leave this cruel ass world that could sometimes be beautiful!
    
    I am gonna digress a bit on this one:
    
    Did you watch 'How I Met Your Mother' Season 9 Finale?
    
    Don't be a Robin: Stop trying to make other things that are not meant for you work and blindly settle out for something just because it doesn't work out the first time with someone else!
    
    Don't be a Ted: If there is one person you know you want to be with, stop being such a Ted and GO CHASE AFTER HER. Don't wait out years to marry someone else, have a few children, be divorced/lost a partner and be in your middle ages to finally realize you love your Robin!
    
    Don't be a Barney: How can you be a player and still try to be blind enough to see that TWO people are meant to be together and you're still trying to chase after someone else's soulmate, causing them to separate from each other's attention to love! UGH!!!!
11. Be with someone who LOVES you more than you love yourself. Like I said above, let him BE THE MAN!
    
    I don't know about you, but I've done my fair share of things to hold out years for someone I was in love with - all because I wanted to prove my loyalty. It would usually end up with him realizing that you did it all for him or he would not take the hint or know better.
    
    If you're the type who has been loyal/faithful and have gone through years of putting out time to be someone's EVERYTHING, let me tell you this - Don't love him with your whole being until you find out he loves you a lot more than you love yourself!
    
    AND NOT JUST THAT!
    
    Find out that he's willing to be your ride and die, FOR LIFE, who actually shows you the real deal and drive to make it work with you through actions!
    
    He has to be someone who is willing to accept you, every flaw and all, who still holds out the torch for you through every good and bad times together.
12. Be with someone who has the same values and direction in life as you
    
    Some men are just in for the ride and some men want to have a life partner. Find out how he feels about life and the whole world. Find out what is his life's plan and where does he see himself ending up being? Is he happy with himself? Does he want to one day have a wife? Children? A house with a blue door and a yard?
    
    Can he see you in his future together and feel contented by it?
    
    Women want men with stable hearts and a balanced mindset. Don't bring chaos into a healthy relationship. Handle every aspect of your life properly, show us that you're being a man and make sure that you have your act together before trying to love us!
13. Be with someone who sees you as a long term life partner; hubby/daddy material and has the intention to 'put a ring on it'!
    
    At the end of the day, ladies, after knowing a man for some time, you would want to end up with a man who is genuinely willing to make you his official wife. Not make you a chick who he thinks he could trample all over like a doormat and use you like a toy, not make you be a main chick or a side chick - BE HIS ONLY CHICK. YA DIG?
    
    There should be no foul play, no uncertainty and no absurd chaos in a relationship. Just focus on what's right and important. Be in it to be there through it all, nothing's all fun and colorful all the time, be there through all the highest and lowest times too.
    
    And as you can see from a lot of my reasons, be with a person who would go through deep lengths in order to make you feel like you're the only one for him.
    
    Remember, they are for real through..
    
    Actions, actions and actions only!
    
    Love is a verb, not a noun, execute 'Love' into actions and not just through sweet words and promises! 

We only live once, therefore, keep dramas at bay, okay! All of you are beautiful in your own way and unique to your own kind. Someone for us is out there somewhere, just keep an open heart and enjoy your single ladies' time while he is on his way to find you and melt gently into your heart! <3

Love always,
Tiff